Frequently (or not-so-frequently) Asked Questions
Why does the hipster business concept generator exist?
As dreamers and humanitarians, we want to inspire a whole new generation of mediocre businesses that will facilitate the gentrification of perfectly satisfactory neighborhoods, then fail, only to be replaced by a Jamba Juice, Lululemon, or (gasp) Baby Gap.
Some off these ideas don't make any sense, like "gluten-free sweaters." What gives?
I'm sorry, if something doesn't make sense to you then it means that you're just not hipster enough to use the generator. In fact, gluten-free sweaters are all the rage in certain exclusive hipster circles. Please try another website such as here or here.
I found a gem idea using the generator. How do I get my business started?
First, you need to develop a cool logo. Spend lots of time and money on it, but it should look like you barely spent any time or money on it. Use of the ampersand (&) in your name or tagline is highly encouraged if you want to be successful. Then, sign a totally overpriced lease in an up-and-coming neighborhood. Ideally you should displace a long-standing family business that thrived prior to the hipster influx. Then build out you space, using as much exposed plywood as feasible. Visible ductwork in the ceiling is a definite plus. Products or services in your shop are a nice touch, but not crucial. Then open your doors and wallow in your hipster heaven!
Do I owe you money if I strike it rich with one of the business concepts from the generator?
Yes, absolutely. We accept check, cash, direct deposit, stock options, debit card, paypal, Venmo, wooden nickels, and wampum. Store credit at your new venture is kindly not accepted (although we're sure that you sell great stuff).
What is the environmental impact of the hipster business concept generator?
We have taken every step to minimize our footprint. The website is totally gluten-free and was coded by clueless hacks (us) drinking exclusively fair-trade coffee. Files are stored on recycled disk drives using bamboo platters. The servers are powered by hamster wheel. All hamsters are on a vegan diet primarily consisting of humanely culled wheatgrass. PHP processing is conducted in a halal certified facility free of peanuts, shellfish, mango, tree nuts, or dairy. This website was not tested on animals, bacteria, fungus, or protozoa.
This generator is incredibly complex and impressive. How many gigaservers does it take to compute the process the crypto algorithm?
Great question. 42.